bits & pieces of a life lived, fully or otherwise.















scopesmonkey: doublenegativemeansyes: 3 days later, i realised there still was the cuff-mark on my wrist. 7 days later, i saw the mark had completely disappeared, then, made an appointment with my psychiatrist.                                                      ______________ Three days later, I realised there was still a cuff mark on my wrist, an uneven band of blue and brown scored across the softer skin of my inner arm. It seemed unreal, even as I pressed two fingers into it to see if I’d feel something.  Anything.  Anything at all. I couldn’t remember it hurting at the time. I remembered running – almost flying – adrenaline surging, following blindly.  No, following faithfully.  I’d never been blind.  There was never a shred of doubt, not one.  Oh, I thought maybe we’d get caught – or worse, shot.  But I never thought it was a lie.  I never thought we were running because one of us was guilty. You couldn’t do that, I thought.  Missing kids?  Not even you. I remembered the cuffs snapping around my wrist and Sherlock taking my hand, long cool fingers curled tightly over mine.  Not letting go – even if he could have, he wouldn’t have let me go, left me there with the police, run by himself. But he’d let go in the end.  He’d let me go.  He let us all go. I closed my eyes, circled my fingers around my wrist, and squeezed. I kept doing that for days, but it was never enough.  My grip wasn’t the same.  It hurt but never bruised properly.  It wasn’t the angry pull of metal cuffs.  It wasn’t Sherlock’s fingers curling over mine, pulling me with him.  It was just me, my own hand.  Not enough strength. I wasn’t strong enough on my own. Seven days later, the mark had completely disappeared and I made an appointment with Ella.

scopesmonkey:

doublenegativemeansyes:

3 days later, i realised there still was the cuff-mark on my wrist.

7 days later, i saw the mark had completely disappeared, then, made an appointment with my psychiatrist.

                                                     ______________

Three days later, I realised there was still a cuff mark on my wrist, an uneven band of blue and brown scored across the softer skin of my inner arm.

It seemed unreal, even as I pressed two fingers into it to see if I’d feel something.  Anything.  Anything at all.

I couldn’t remember it hurting at the time.

I remembered running – almost flying – adrenaline surging, following blindly.  No, following faithfully.  I’d never been blind.  There was never a shred of doubt, not one.  Oh, I thought maybe we’d get caught – or worse, shot.  But I never thought it was a lie.  I never thought we were running because one of us was guilty.

You couldn’t do that, I thought.  Missing kids?  Not even you.

I remembered the cuffs snapping around my wrist and Sherlock taking my hand, long cool fingers curled tightly over mine.  Not letting go – even if he could have, he wouldn’t have let me go, left me there with the police, run by himself.

But he’d let go in the end.  He’d let me go.  He let us all go.

I closed my eyes, circled my fingers around my wrist, and squeezed.

I kept doing that for days, but it was never enough.  My grip wasn’t the same.  It hurt but never bruised properly.  It wasn’t the angry pull of metal cuffs.  It wasn’t Sherlock’s fingers curling over mine, pulling me with him.  It was just me, my own hand.  Not enough strength.

I wasn’t strong enough on my own.

Seven days later, the mark had completely disappeared and I made an appointment with Ella.

3 months ago with 461 notes — via scopesmonkey, © doublenegativemeansyes
#Sherlock #ficlet #doublenegativemeansyes



  1. tastybrownrice reblogged this from bbcsherlockfanwork
  2. redsensei reblogged this from doublenegativemeansyes
  3. 13thopposite reblogged this from doublenegativemeansyes and added:
    This is pulling my heart right out of my chest -sobs-
  4. everbeentospace reblogged this from doublenegativemeansyes
  5. caseum reblogged this from cliffrose-acetone
  6. cliffrose-acetone reblogged this from adjustedfangirl
  7. adjustedfangirl reblogged this from doublenegativemeansyes and added:
    …… I want to die ;A;
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  14. anniephantastic6 reblogged this from have-tardis-will-time-travel and added:
    For a minute I thought it was a reference to sex. Then I remembered.
  15. have-tardis-will-time-travel reblogged this from doublenegativemeansyes and added:
    All of my feels…
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  31. shoopycrash reblogged this from doublenegativemeansyes and added:
    all the sad feels. ALL OF THEM.